What's The Flap About Reduced Circumcision Rates?

Yesterday, news broke that the circumcision rate in the US was the lowest it's ever been, with some states' rates hovering below 50%. Experts attribute the drop to immigration, as well as changing attitudes about breastfeeding, the increase in natural births, and a growing antipathy towards inflicting pain on babies because of some 'covenant with God' bullshit. (Well, or just the first three.) We clearly feel strongly about not cutting skin off little infant wangs, and also we think uncut dicks are cuter, but we weren't sure how everyone else felt. So we asked a handful of sluts, a gay and a heterosexual Jew.

The first ho we spoke to has a penchant for Jews, and has only recently become aware of the fact that "sex is apparently like so much better with the foreskin." But she does have a little beef with the increased sensitivity of uncut ween. "I cannot deal with that when I am giving head if it takes more than like two minutes. I can barely feel my face. I can't be expected to be gentler than I'm already trying to be to their super sensitive dick. That said, fuck giving head. I'm so good at it it's like, a curse."

Okay! Maybe we need a second slutty opinion. "I've been with three uncut guys and not only are uncut penises cute, but the guys seem to get off better." Amen, sister! And there's also an added perk of that extra skin that we hadn't even thought of! "The other thing about uncut guys? They can do funny things with their dicks to make you laugh. Seriously they can stretch that foreskin out in ways you wouldn't imagine. I 'know' someone who does something called 'the baby bird' and makes the tip of his penis look like a baby bird with its mouth open, looking for a handout." See what you're missing, religious Jews?

But some people don't feel as fondly towards uncircumcision: namely, circumcised dudes. One lady tells us this chilling story: " I only date Jewish guys and they get really upset if you even express the tiniest bit of ambivalence toward the practice. One time I was telling my ex's roommate that I didn't think I'd have my kid circumcised, and he came running down the stairs, pulling his pants up (he had been peeing) yelling 'Over my dead body!!' I still have no idea how he heard me. It was like a sixth sense."

"I'm Jewish. It's my covenant with god to circumcise," a Jew explains. We helpfully pointed out that he is covered in tattoos and does not really practice Judaism so much. "It's not THAT Jewish. That is like the one thing one must do to be Jewish." Whatever, Jewy.

For the last word, we turned to a gay. "I'm against it!" he cried. A second later: "I mean, you know, whatever: cock is cock."