Defamer is committed to bringing together real directors of real movies with real celebrities hard up for fake dates on the biggest nights of their lives, and so in the interest of furthering our mission of faux-romantic mercy, we spotlight this anonymous plea for companionship from Craigslist, the internet's leading escort service for industry professionals desperately seeking non-embarrassing arm-candy. Posts our seeker:
director needs a (fake) date for a (real) movie premiere - m4m - 33 As bizarre as this sounds, I am looking for a date for a movie premiere.
I directed a movie and it's premiering the last week in June. I want to go to the premiere with a date.
Yes, there will be celebrities and industry weirdos at the premiere. Yes, there is a big party afterwards. Yes, I really am the director. Yes, it really is a real movie with real celebrities at a real premiere with a red carpet and everything.
Why am I looking for a date on Craigslist? Because I am new to Los Angeles and I dont know anyone here, and I have been working so hard on the movie I haven't met anyone since I got here (moved from NYC to make the movie). It's hard to meet people in LA. Especially when you're working 14 hours a day 7 days a week.
No, you don't have to sleep with me. Just want a reasonably good looking guy at my side as I walk down the red carpet. It's a once in a lifetime event - why not share it?
I'm laughing out loud as I write this. It seems completely absurd. But - why not?
Here are the requirements. You are:
1. not insane
2. between 25 and 40 (give and take a year or two)
3. reasonably intelligent
4. good looking
5. not an actor who is going to try and use this as a networking opportunity (ok to be an actor - but again, not insane)
6. clean (well groomed) and sober (not a drunk or an addict)
7. willing to go along with the charade for the fun of it
8. not crazy
If you are a fellow ex-pat new yorker who went to a good college and is now living in Los Angeles wondering what the hell you are doing in Los Angeles - all the better.
There are no responsibilities beyond the premiere and the party. If we hit it off - great, we can be friends.
Part of me is hoping to find someone so incredibly good looking that he will bring traffic to a halt. But - that is kind of shallow, isn't it. But - then again, it's a fake date - and this is Hollywood. But - sense of humor trumps looks every time. And - you're going to have to have a good sense of humor to pull this off.
Oh, whatever. Let's see what happens. Please reply with a picture (to weed out crazies and freaks - although you can't always tell).
And I'll get back to you soon
Again - yes this is real.
The secretive poster's repeated promises that this call for companionship is authentic should be more than enough to convince the city's insane-and-out-of-work actor population (both gay and straight—red-carpet networking is a dirty, deceitful business) to apply for the competitive position, so make sure that you submit your most artfully photographed, full-color headshot for consideration. And while we respect this very real director's privacy, we suppose we can't stop you from pouring over movie release schedules and trying to uncover his identity on your own, potentially ruining his best shot at a night of fake happiness.