Lily Allen Rechristens Tinsley Mortimer

There's a lot to love about Lily Allen. For starters: she basically wrote an entire album about the fact that her exboyfriend's dick is "not big" and that he never got her off. She gives us some more reasons to worship at her wacky self-hating paparazzi-punching alkie British throne by offering up some choice quotes to New Yorktoday. We learn that she is indifferent to the Hamptons and to the charms of Tinz Mortimer, 31, for whom she has coined a new nickname. "They were like, 'We'll pay you and give you a house.' So we were like, 'Alright.' I was so drunk I kept calling Tinsley 'Ashley Winksdale.'" And that's all we're ever going to call Tinsley from now on.

Lily Allen's Escape To New York [NYM]