If you were in any part of Manhattan or, really, the world yesterday, you probably had some sort of encounter with the rainbow-colored vomit puddles of the Gay Pride parade. A dude named Brad from Bay Ridge was so inconvenienced by this event that he took to his keyboard, decrying the gays and their filthy, bus-delaying ways. We couldn't help but kind of see his point (sic throughout, obvs). "So today i had some errands to run in the city," he begins. " I hop on the bus as usual and expect to be in the lower east side within a half hour. Not today. Today turned out to be the gay pride parade. can someone explain to me how you can shut down half of the biggest city in this nation for a parade to celebrate being gay ? new york city is composed of nearly 6 million people over half of them being women. THE WOMEN OF NYC have been sucking dick for FARRRR longer than any gay man. If anyone should be celebrated and thanked for there efforts it is these woman." We like where you're going with this!
"While were at it i propose a sexual harassment parade where we can parade these afore-mentioned woman from Harlem (pssst pssst whats good shorty pssst psst) to spanish harlem (yo ma yo ma come here mami..) all the way down to mulberry street ( aeee ohhhhh how youuu doin) ....... fuck it ...maybe a bridge and tunnel parade where we can shut down the lincoln, holland, midtown and brooklyn battery tunnels as well as well as the GWB, Brooklyn, Manhattan and Williamsburg Bridge and just pump house music all day and night long through the city where everyone with spiky hair big muscles and no sleeves (and the women who love them) can march and fist pump through the city (dont worry ill be the grand marshall) and don't think i forgot about you statin island we are going to turn the s.i ferry into one big party boat booze cruise with jp, Loui Devito and johnny vicious spinning your favorite hard house sound factory classics.
and if anyone has been offended by this little rant we are going to have a special parade for you. The Overly Politically correct cry baby bitch and moan parade. Its going to convene on the great lawn in central park and kick off with an old fashion stoning."
Heh. We'll be there!