Tom Sizemore Has 16 Months To Find God And Drop The Dumb Guy Act

Despite his teary-eyed pleas for leniency, a judge has sentenced crank aficionado Tom Sizemore to 16 months behind bars for his May 8 arrest outside the Bakersfield Four Points Sheraton on suspicion of several drug-related charges, including statute 195.202, "Intention to chew a hole through one's cheek while under the influence of a controlled substance." From People.com:

Tom Sizemore on Monday was sentenced to 16 months in prison for violating his probation in a drug-related case - though a prosecutor tells PEOPLE the actor will only serve two to seven months should he receive credit for time he's already spent in rehab.

Last week, in anticipation of his sentencing, [Sizemore] tearfully begged Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Cynthia Rayvis not to put him behind bars.


But prosecutors insisted that Sizemore has been given enough breaks, with Deputy District Attorney Sean Carney telling the judge, "I think the time has come for the court to revoke his probation."

"I think it's clear from his record that probation isn't the answer," Carney tells PEOPLE. "He used a Whizzinator, he lied to the court, he has a history of domestic violence and of deceiving the court, and given somebody with that kind of problem, the court needs to send him to the kind of rehab he's not going to be able to walk away from: prison."

The Deputy D.A. clearly has an ax to grind regarding the slippery Sizemore, having been thrown off the trail one too many times by the Whizzinator and similar pee-test-hacking devices. Still, a few months of incarceration might by the cold dose of sober reality the actor needed to get back on track, during which he can maximize his time behind bars bartering for the highest possible price for his exit interview—topping out now at a complimentary Subway spread with all the fixings courtesy of "Martin Bashir and the Gang at Nightline."