So overcrowded is the summer movie marketplace that the only way to distinguish one's upcoming blockbuster product from the blowing-shit-up competition is to hit the talk show circuit and recreate some of the fun that awaits fickle moviegoers upon their next trip to the multiplex.

On last night's Late Show, game Live Free Or Die Hard star Bruce Willis did the best he could with what was left of Fox's promotional budget following yesterday's impressive airborne display over Los Angeles, setting off a "Ka-Bruce" firework (Chinatown stall street price: $1.49) intended to preview the many thrilling big-screen explosions the action hero encounters during the film. Unfortunately for Fox , Paramount has booked Fourth of July weekend rival Transformers director Michael Bay on next Monday's Letterman show, whose better-funded stunt will involve driving a custom-made Bumblebee Camaro up to the guest chair; once Bay detonates the car following a predetermined laugh line and showers the live studio audience in a hail of deadly, white-hot shrapnel, the memory of Willis' quaint cherry-bomb spectacle will be completely erased.