This image was lost some time after publication.

It's been a little while since last we've checked in with the Phil Spector trial, in which time the defendant's trademark blonde bob has sadly lost its bounce and luster (see left). Still, not all hope is yet lost for the genius hit-maker who stands accused of murder, as the first expert witness for the defense insisted the gunshot that killed B-movie actress and House of Blues hostess Lana Clarkson was entirely of her own doing:

Dr. Vincent DiMaio, a physician with a specialty in forensic medicine, spent more than an hour giving jurors an impressive history of his credentials and a professorial lecture on the science of analyzing gunshot wounds before attorney Christopher Plourd asked for his conclusion on the manner of Clarkson's Feb. 3, 2003, death.

"She died of a self-inflicted wound," said DiMaio. "There is no objective scientific evidence that anyone else held the gun. Everything else is speculative. The physical evidence is consistent with her having the gun and her having discharged the gun." [...]

"She's got blood on her hands, gunshot residue on her hands, an intra-oral wound. Ninety-nine percent, it's suicide," DiMaio said.

DiMaio failed to mention that the cause of the remaining 1% of intra-oral gunshot wounds on record are typically due to eccentric music producers with well-documented histories of pressing firearms into the faces of women who failed to put out for them—a statistic the defense quietly suggested their star witness gloss over, due to necessary time constraints after having spent over an hour detailing his qualifications for the jury.