Help Stupid Americans Name Their Children

We were heartened by the discussion over at that "Here's some money, name my baby" post. But then we thought to ourselves, hey, this could be a potential career for someone! So here's the deal: Submit your most pretentious (but plausible) baby name, either via e-mail or in the comments section. We'll take the five best and put them to a test of the Gawker audience. The winner will then be able to set him or herself up as an "award-winning nomenclature consultant," with all the fame and fortune that such a lofty designation ensues. Remember, try and give us something that the kind of schmuck who pays $50 for a list of names pulled out of a book would actually fall for: "Ralph" (pronounced Ra-Fay) works, "Scottwaffle" less so. And don't be afraid to share stories of pretentiously-named babies you know. We want to share little Gramercy's story with the world! Let's go, kids, here's your shot at the big time.

Earlier: Americans Now Too Stupid To Name Own Children