• The serial-marrying Revlon honcho has been compensating ever since he was dissed by a popular girl named Ellen Friedman in ninth grade. [Page Six]
  
• John "Uncle Jesse forever" Stamos blames those recent loopy foreign tv appearances on Ambien, which is so boring and probably true! [Us Weekly]
  
• Pathetic-est attempt to pretend like Lindsay Lohan's sober 21st birthday party was interesting: "Other guests were spotted carrying presents in Hermes and Louis Vuitton shopping bags, and a special delivery from Versace was seen arriving to the home as well. The sober starlet sure does love her high fashion!" [TMZ]
  
• Sanjaya Malakar is "already cropping up on the L.A. gay bar scene." Gasp. [Gatecrasher, last item]

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