Affleck And Damon To Surf Their Way To Second Screenwriting Oscar

After almost ten years of creative paralysis brought on by wondering when the Academy repo men would arrive to snatch the Good Will Hunting Best Original Screenplay Oscar from his mantel as punishment for every career-sabotaging choice he's made since 2002, Ben Affleck has decided to stop living in fear and take proactive steps towards winning a second one, phoning partner/lifelong BFF Matt Damon and inviting him on a creative retreat in Hawaii. Reports Us Weekly in their new Procrastinating Screenwriters, They're Just Like Us! feature:

"They're really excited about it," says the source. [...]
Now the screen idols have spent two weeks getting their creative juices flowing in a $13,000-a-week house in Kauai, Hawaii.

"Ben and Matt keep taking breaks to go surfing and hang out with their families," adds the source. "But for the most part, they've been writing together on this trip."

Even those who question the team's bonafides and uncharitably suspect that the duo might have had a little help with their award-winning script should recognize the telltale signs of real professionals in the process of creating: the elaborate labor-avoidance tactics that guarantee that no actual work will get done. Still, noticeable progress is being made; in between their shared family time and restorative surfing sessions, Affleck and Damon have periodically stopped in front of a laptop with an open Final Draft document reading, "FADE IN: INT. BEACH HOUSE—DAY. FUCK THIS. HAVE ENDEAVOR CALL WILLIAM GOLDMAN AND GET QUOTE FOR GOOD WILL 2" to obsessively tinker with the exact wording of their inevitable distress call.