Many CNN viewers were let down by Larry King's interview with Isaiah Washington, feeling perhaps that the septuagenarian softball-lobber let the Grey's Anatomy ejectee too easily off the hook by granting him a full hour to parse the etymology of the pink f-bomb. We therefore provide this alternate take on the tête-a-tête, in which the embattled actor's post-Golden-Globes declaration ("I love gay. I wanted to be gay. Please let me be gay!") is gloriously made manifest, in a proud declaration sure to land him on his very own Advocate cover wrapped in an adorable Labrador.