Gucci Hires David Lynch To Terrify And Confuse Consumers Into Buying New PerfumeDirector and awards season cow wrangler David Lynch makes no secret of how he feels about the encroachment of corporate interests upon his stubbornly abstruse cinematic meditations. (Quoth: "Bullshit. Total fucking bullshit.") That isn't to say that he's above whoring himself out for the occasional contract work, however, as he has agreed to direct a TV spot for a new Gucci perfume, according to a press release from the fashion house's unsexy parent-company fragrance licensee, Procter & Gamble. From The Stylephile blog:

Lynch, 61, will direct the next Gucci commercial for its latest eponymous perfume. Gucci's parent company Procter & Gamble released a statement which indicated why the man who forever immortalized a severed ear in "Blue Velvet" should tackle the task: "Lynch was selected for his holistic ability as an artist, his professional experience and knowledge, his never-ending research for beautiful images, his use of music and his modernity."

It remains to be seen how the director's qualifications will manifest themselves into a thirty-second spot: Gucci executives could wind up extremely dissatisfied, having hoped he'd return to them with something more akin to Nicole Kidman in a gauzy gown scampering across a moonlit roof into her lover's arms, as opposed to the director's somewhat less romantic vision of a naked dwarf sitting at the head of a conference table, dabbing his nether regions seductively with the new scent to a dark, jazzy tune by Angelo Badalamenti.