The Terrible People Convention

Each week, Alex Blagg stares into the death-hole that are the party pictures of Last Night's Party, Cobrasnake, and the like. There is magic in these hipster parties! A dark, steamy variety of Stevie Nicks on coke hallucinating sort of magic. Come aboard!

10.Last Night's Party. Racket photo #1295: It's nice to see they sent someone to document the big Terrible People Convention of '07.

9.The Cobrasnake. Real Deal photo #4875: Hey guys, check out the crowning jewel on my ongoing Living Sculpture of Human Cliche! This is gonna look so good with my terrorist scarf and ironic Zebra seat covers.

8. Last Night's Party. Racket photo #1626: Hey look, it's Captain Big Balls and old friends Cliche LA Moron and Weird Old Dude Everyone (Except Girls) Thinks Is Funny To Have Around!

7. The Cobrasnake. Fight Night photo #5255: The great thing about hiptards fighting is that, no matter the outcome, we always win.

6. Last Night's Party. What Scene? photo #498: Okay, you win. You've actually become the post-modern semi-ironic real life embodiment of Spicoli from "Fast Times". Now knock it off before our brains explode.

5. The Cobrasnake. Fight Night photo #5123: I'm Baron Von Sassafrass, captain of the SS Fabulous, and if you've got something to say about my wearing fur in the summertime, I'll throw you in the brig for some tickle torture!

4. Last Night's Party. Racket photo #1599: Johnny 5 is alive! And he's a total fucking douche.

3. Last Night's Party. Racket photo #1622: I don't know what this is or why it is, but it's both terrifying and wonderful at the same time.

2. Last Night's Party. Warm-Up photo #0264: After all the tattoo sleeves, overpriced vintage metal t-shirts, nose rings, fake diamond-studded lobe-stretchers, muscular poses and tough-guy sneers, it would be totally hilarious if someone just walked up and punched these suburban nancies in the face until they cried.

1. The Cobrasnake. Sparklin Rivers photo #5708: Imagine if George Orwell, Dick Cheney, Franz Kafka and Jean-Paul Sartre all got together to devise the most depressing, terrifying vision of the future imaginable, then had David Lynch take its picture. That's sort of what this is.