It's so cool that dudes can become parents and still have time left in their busy days to comment on blog posts, right? From the flying typing fingers of Neal Pollack, everyone's favorite Alternadad, comes an overshare that left us feeling this weird, poignant combination of relief and annoyance: Neal and his wife, he claims, are "done" with begetting.

"After my wife's miserable pregnancy and near-death experience on the Caeserian [sic] table, and after the financially and emotionally taxing toddler years, and after living here in Los Angeles, where children often serve as reflectors of the parents' social class and little more, we have decided that one is more than enough. If, for some reason, we are elevated to wealth, we may adopt someone of color. But as far as parenthood goes, we've done it, we're doing it, we get it, and if we want to stay married, we're not going to have another."

But Neal, what will your schtick be once Elijah leaves the nest? Oh I know! Maybe it'll be "giving the world pompous unsolicited advice that you yourself don't follow"? See, later in the same thread, Neal acknowledges that "the urge [to procreate] is always there. However, the planet is groaning under the weight of excessive humanity." Wow, it sure is.

Gimme That Baby, You Warthog From Hell [Offsprung]