Why Hating On Park Slope Just Makes Us Look Bad

When we first clapped eyes on Samantha Storey's first-person exploration of what it's like to live in Park Slope, we automatically started sharpening our knives. That stroller shot almost guaranteed that the article would be full of easy-to-mock tropes of the Slope, and of course, it was: "open and comfortable breast-feeding is quintessential daytime Park Slope." And! "When I buy fish from the Ocean Fish Market the man behind the counter always asks after my mother." And! "My baby carrier is a $150 torture device." Yes, writing a mean post about this article would be easy-peasy. Our knives were honed! When, suddenly, we put down the whetstone and looked within. Ask the question in your best Carrie Bradshaw voice along with us: Is it time to get over hating on Park Slope?

Because, here's the thing. Brownstone Brooklyn is pretentious and prohibitively expensive and full of self-righteous smug NPR-listening ultraliberals who are willing to get into a flamewar over a gender pronoun. But deep down, is there any other place you can imagine being an adult in this city? I kind of can't think of any. Those restaurants near there are yummy. Prospect Park is so nice. Brownstones are beautiful and I would like to live in one someday. I love dogs and babies. Babies are so cute! I'd like to have one. Not now! But someday. I like doing yoga and eating organic produce! I don't really care about cool bars. Cool bars are sort of lame.

So after you, or should I say "I," come to all these conclusions, the only reason left to hate Park Slope is that you're jealous of the people who can afford to live there because you assume that you'll never have the cash for a down payment on a Safran Foer-Krauss house. Ok, well. True enough! But why not just decide to yourself that, if living in a brownstone in Brooklyn is really what you want, you'll find a way to make it happen. That way, you can stop feeling hatred towards those who live there and schadenfreude towards the people who live there who embarrass themselves online and in print so regularly. [Ed. Note: Particularly if you take their brownstones from them!]

And with all the energy you won't be expending on hatred, you'll be able to focus your energies on, like, making wise investments or excelling in your chosen field or marrying rich or buying scratch-off tickets. Because, thing is? Living in Park Slope seems super fun and maybe even worth it.

The Park Slope Parent Trap [NYT]