"Being A Slut Is So Not Worth It"

This dropped into our mailbag this morning. Names have been changed to protect the Shylocky.

So the other day I got an early morning phone call from the undergrad I boned (once!) a month ago. In this phone call he casually told me he was getting his annual STD check and wanted to know when I was last tested so that he could figure out which tests he could skip. This was the entire point of the call: to save money on an AIDS test! Seriously, with a name like Lev Sheingold he's lucky in my groggy state I didn't make some sort of crass Sarah Silverman-esque joke about his ethnic frugality. Ahhh! Being a slut is so not worth it.