So I'll be in Maine all next week, leaving you in the extremely fun and competent company of Doree, Choire, Josh, Balk, and Balk's cock, which will be picking up even more of my slack than it usually does. I had Gawker pervtographer Nikola Tamindzic snap a special picture of me being all "eff you, I am wearing an American Apparel tank suit" on his roof last night because, let's face it, I have become some delusional cross between Alyssa Shelasky and Julia Allison, blogging about my feelings and disgracing feminism right and left. Yeah, that's it. Also that's why it's time for a full break. Also, as a bit of useful service journalism: After the jump, an object lesson in how not to ask for time off.

(As our story opens, Emily has just returned from taking two unplanned days off in a last-ditch effort to save her relationship, even though her boss was all 'that never works.')

From: Emily

To: Choire


Subject: I'll never leave you again!

Except July 16-20. Julia Allison seems like a good sub, no? Here's something she imed me today:

"well, i have this theory. about fame. that getting the adulation from people is addictive, and once people realized that they could have it by acting like idiots (something I occasionally do), it's a downward spiral ... they get that rush, from being on survivor or the apprentice or a blog like gawker, and then they want to continue to feel it, so they do whatever it takes to maintain that attention."

by george, i think she's got it!

From: Choire

To: Emily

haha. she so does.

girllll, do you have any vacation days LEFT? are you like, in the negative???

From: Emily

To: Choire

are you kidding? can you think of a full day that i have taken off since you started besides the thurs i had a nervy b? cause i'm pretty sure one hasn't existed. and before that i have never taken a day off, ever



From: Choire

To: Emily

omg maybe you're right??? yeah you had two in march, one in april, and one in may, which is pretty much totally nothing. i dunno actually how many we have or when we get them but also i really don't care i don't

think?

(while this is going on, Emily and Choire are iming about, probably, whether the version of "Think About It" on the "covers and roughs" bonus tracks of Rumours is better or worse or just different than the version on Stevie's album Bella Donna.)

From: Emily

To: Choire

well let me know asap cause i have to book flights and things, please.

From: Choire

To: Emily

oh fuck i don't care! no no, go go! you're in my book for out that week. GAYKER AHOY.

Hear that, kiddies? Strap in and on and get ready for Gayker. And in a week, I'll come back. Probably.

Oh and P.S.:

Goodbye To All That For A WeekS