Jul 17, 2007 03:25 PM
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New York, 6:29 AM
Wed Feb 10
56 posts in the last 24 hours
Rhymes With Cory: So remember last week when you were all, "Oh no, Emily's going to be gone all week, we're never gonna have enough material?"
BALK BTW: As if it were Friday.
Rhymes With Cory: And I was like, "Nah, we'll be fine." And you said, "We're going to be begging My Cock for posts." And I told you it would never happen?
BALK BTW: Uh huh.
Rhymes With Cory: Is Your Cock awake? Because we have a huge hole.
BALK BTW: Funny enough, we were just IMing. Are we really that desperate?
Rhymes With Cory: I would take a post from Your Balls at this point.
BALK BTW: Okay, lemme see if he's up for it.
BALK BTW: Hey, Cock. You have anything for Gawker?
COCK BTW: I dunno, man, Atoosa hasn't updated in a while.
BALK BTW: Whatever, we'll take anything. You don't know what it's like out there.
COCK BTW: I'm not talking about Murdoch or Black, that's for goddamn sure. How 'bout that period thing in the Times?
BALK BTW: I told the Jezebel gals it was all theirs.
COCK BTW: Whores.
BALK BTW: Hey.
COCK BTW: Sorry, it just gets me sore. So what CAN I talk about?
BALK BTW: Hmmmm... I don't know, politics? Who do you like for president.
COCK BTW: Oh, I'm Obama all the way.
BALK BTW: Really? You don't worry about his lack of experience?
COCK BTW: He has as much experience as the current guy.
BALK BTW: Um, that's a terrible example. Also, Bush was governor of Texas for five years.
COCK BTW: GOVERNOR OF TEXAS? BFD. The job was DESIGNED so that an idiot could do it. All the power resides with the lieutenant governor. The governor is basically the schmuck in the hat who shows up to cut the ribbon at a hospital opening in Amarillo. My Taint could be governor of Texas.
BALK BTW: How do you know about Texas politics?
COCK BTW: Most of the southern states have weak governor systems. It's a legacy of reconstruction. Don't you fucking read?
BALK BTW: Mainly "Vanity Fair."
COCK BTW: Well, sometimes that's important. The Hollywood issue in particular. Good bonding time for us.
BALK BTW: Uh... yeah. Anyway, Obama. You really don't worry about how little executive experience he's had?
COCK BTW: No. Look, my feeling is that anyone's gonna be better than the dude we've got now. Plus, Obama is a transformative politician. I have never, in our lifetimes, seen someone who inspires so many different people from such a broad spectrum of the electorate. And beyond that: What's it going to say to the rest of the world when we're willing to elect a guy named Barack Obama who's half black, is familiar with both the Christian and Muslim faiths, and has the hottest First Lady since Rosalynn Carter?
BALK BTW: Again with Rosalynn Carter.
COCK BTW: Oh, please, like you haven't stroked me to a little "Rosalynn in tight sweater" fantasy.
BALK BTW: MOVING ON. What about Hillary? Are you unwilling to vote for Hillary because she's a woman? And you're a cock?
COCK BTW: Nah, it's got nothing to do with that. Any other year, sure. I mean, she's a tough, controlling bitch who's unable to admit any mistakes she's made and she's got a penchant for secrecy and paranoia that makes Nixon look stable, but whatever. There are plenty of women I'd vote for: Kathleen Sebelius, Napolitano, heck, even Jodi Rell if I had to vote Republican. Also, that hottie from Michigan.
BALK BTW: Granholm.
COCK BTW: Yeah. Too bad she was born in Canada, I'd pull the lever for her in a second. You know, like YOU HAVE.
BALK BTW: I, uh, think we're done here.
COCK BTW: Good. Meet me in the bathroom in five. And bring the new Maxim that just came into the office.
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