Do She? She Do!

Eavesdropping on the gays is the surest way to find out what products and people are hot and what are not. Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.

INT. THE "GLO LOUNGE" IN FIRE ISLAND PINES
The lounge is a new construction with fresh wood encasing a modern-look bar with ample seating and tables, with large open windows that overlook the bay. The event known as "High Tea" is just beginning and the crowd is starting to grow. Near one window, sitting on a sofa are RAYBANTWINK and PRADATWINK, wearing of-the-season sunglasses as befit their names. As the crowd enters from the stairwell to their right they look around the room.

RAYBANTWINK That's that bartender that does porn.

PRADATWINK
Do she?

RAYBANTWINK
She do. Darren is all ga-ga for him.

PRADATWINK
I don't like redheads.

RAYBANTWINK
Me neither, but he's got a big dick.

PRADATWINK
Oh, do she?

RAYBANTWINK
She do. You ready for another vodka soda?

PRADATWINK nods and winks as he finishes his drink. RAYBANTWINK gets up to leave for the bar. One sofa over at another window, IRONICTEEBEAR is caressing the sofa with SLEEVELESSBEAR.

IRONICTEEBEAR I'm not sure. I think it's real. They make really good imitations now. But it feels real.

SLEEVELESSBEAR
But leather sofas on the water just don't make sense. Saltwater is bad for leather so it's not even going to last a season.

IRONICTEEBEAR
We're on the bay side, so maybe it's okay. It still seems like a waste. I think it's fake. (Again caressing the sofa.) But it has a really nice hand. I sort of wonder where they got these. They're too nice to be IKEA.

SLEEVELESSBEAR
Probably the designer had them built for the space. They all look the same, just different shades of brown. (Pauses.) Why brown?

IRONICTEEBEAR
The tables look IKEA. (Pause. Looks around room.) Is it me or can you not smoke in here?

SLEEVELESSBEAR
Nobody else is. There's no cigarette butts on the floor. I saw people smoking on the way in though. In the other room.

EMACIGAYTED is speaking loudly into a black RAZR phone and approaches the sofa holding the BEARS and walks past to lean out the window.

EMACIGAYTED Yeah, I'm on Fire Island, the Pines... (Remaining on the phone, reaches for pocket, pulling out cigarettes, and lights one.)

SLEEVELESSBEAR
(Pointing at EMACIATWINK.) She's smoking.

IRONICTEEBEAR
Good enough. (Pulls out a pack of Marlboro Mediums.)

EMACIGAYTED
(Crossing back across the sofa.) Girl, I know, but the best time to be unemployed in New York City is during the summer when your share is paid for...

EMACIGAYTED walks away from the BEARS, cigarette in the hand that is covering his ear. He leaves for the main High Tea bar to the left, passing RAYBANTWINK, carrying two drinks.

RAYBANTWINK Why do they call this the Glo Lounge? There ain't a damn thing glowing in here.

PRADATWINK
(Points into the growing crowd.) There's Vinnie. He knows that dealer that sells those little baby jars of coke.

RAYBANTWINK
I can't believe how much we've gone through. No more sharing. People need to pony up.

PRADATWINK
Tell me. But we should talk to Vinnie. He has the guy's number.

RAYBANTWINK
Do she?

PRADATWINK
She do.