The Emmy Nominations: Let's Just Hand Over The Statues to 'The Sopranos' And Call It A Day


We have, on more than one occasion, referred to the Emmys as "Oscar's paste-eating cousin," but even Hollywood's touched-in-the-head awards-proferring youngster gets his turn in the spotlight once in a while, and early this morning a legion of entertainment reporters were invited over to look at the names of the nominees he has sloppily finger-painted on some handy poster board, tousling the well-meaning tyke's hair as he noisily smacked away on a fresh mouthful of his beloved, adhesive snack. Their best guess at transcribing his illegible—but brightly rendered—scribblings reveals that mad-for-HBO movie Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee was the most nominated of any program, garnering a staggering™ 17 nods, while the network's The Sopranos, the retiring series that tried to lessen the blow of depriving us of the Greatest Television Show Of All Time by reintroducing us to the genius of Journey, earned 15 nominations, including recognition in various acting categories for Tony, Carmela, Christopher, Janice, and Dr. Melfi. (Sadly, it seems that an inspired late push for The Kid Who Pooped in the Shower fell short.)

The drama series nominees that will return home empty-handed as the TV Academy thanks David Chase for classing up the medium can be seen in the image above, though we must disclose that we may have obscured the title of Boston Legal with a tribute to the most misunderstood show of our generation. On the comedy side, the Academy has recognized Entourage, The Office, 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, and Two and a Half Men, though we suspect that last sitcom's inclusion had something to do with a full-page For Your Consideration ad star Charlie Sheen took out in the trades promising that a nomination would be rewarded with a party for Emmy voters "that will make the proprietor of Tijuana's most transgressive donkey show drop dead in disgust."

The rest of the nominations in the major categories follow; Friday Night Lights fans may want to take a moment to compose themselves before continuing on.

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock • NBC
Entourage • HBO
The Office • NBC
Two And A Half Men • CBS
Ugly Betty • ABC

Outstanding Drama Series
Boston Legal • ABC
Grey's Anatomy • ABC
Heroes • NBC
House • Fox
The Sopranos • HBO

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
30 Rock • NBC • Alec Baldwin
Extras • HBO • Ricky Gervais
Monk • USA • Tony Shalhoub
The Office • NBC • Steve Carell,
Two And A Half Men • CBS • Charlie Sheen

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
30 Rock • NBC • Tina Fey
Desperate Housewives • ABC • Felicity Huffman
The New Adventures Of Old Christine • CBS • Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Ugly Betty • ABC • America Ferrera
Weeds • Showtime • Mary-Louise Parker

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series
24 • Fox • Kiefer Sutherland
Boston Legal • ABC • James Spader
House • Fox • Hugh Laurie
Rescue Me • FX • Denis Leary
The Sopranos • HBO • James Gandolfini

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
Brothers & Sisters • ABC • Sally Field
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit • NBC • Mariska Hargitay
Medium • NBC • Patricia Arquette
The Closer • TNT Kyra Sedgwick
The Riches • FX Minnie Driver
The Sopranos • HBO • Edie Falco

The complete list of nominees is here, for those who wish to discover that "Dick in the Box" is among the honorees for Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics. (We're not kidding.)