Yesterday, we noticed a column by Mediabistro queen and new millionaire Laurel Touby's dad, Frank Touby, from something called The Bulletin, which is up in Torontonia, in Greater Canadia. We called it "a great lunch read"—it's about how gay newspapers are pimping in the flesh trade. Apparently Frank did not appreciate our praise, and has written to let us know how much he does not appreciate it!

Does Gawker's envy and petty mindedness know no limits? Has it given you license to invent gossip?

In your headline-writer's cockeyed vision ("Laurel Touby's Dad Hates Gay Pimps") you invented something that doesn't exist.

My column that you cite criticizes corporations that enable enslavers of women and young people to invite their rapes by advertising in mass-circulation publications. Those publications fit the definition of "pimp".

Does Laurel Touby's father Frank hate pimping? Absolutely. Does he hate gay pimps? No. He hates pimping, plain and simple, as clearly expressed in the column [please link to it] and perverted by your mean-spirited headline.

So now you're attacking a decidedly non-millionaire senior citizen who happens to have sired a multi-talented daughter whose inventiveness you copied and whose success has eluded you...and whose "bad laugh" can be heard all the way to the bank.

Could it be because you're second rate? You even get the country wrong. There's no such place as "Canadia," where I toil as a journalist. Don't you have spell check?

Frank Touby,
Laurel's Proud Poppa

On our favorite awesome crazy letters scale, we give this one a 9.7—it only doesn't get a 10 because of the greatest letter in the world , from a father of an Altarcations groom.