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To celebrate the recent colonization of Los Angeles by imperial British tabloid powers David and Victoria Beckham, celebrity-barons Tom Cruise, Will Smith, and their Hollywood war brides feted their new masters with a massive "Welcome to America, Strangely Famous Foreigners!" party last night at Museum of Contemporary Art's Geffen Warehouse, where representatives of the local nobility publicly paid their respects. Reports on the event:

"It was so much fun!" a guest tells PEOPLE.

Boasting a Who's Who celeb turnout, including Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Brooke Shields and husband Chris Henchy, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, Bruce Willis, newlywed Eva Longoria (without Tony Parker), Ron Howard, Brian Grazer and Quincy Jones, the party came on the heels of Saturday's much-anticipated American debut of the L.A. Galaxy's newest and most famous soccer player.

Holmes and Cruise, who flew in for the weekend from Germany where he's shooting the movie Valkyrie, drove to the party with the Smiths, and the three couples posed for photos before heading inside the decked-out warehouse space, where a deejay spun tunes into the night.

And the music struck responsive chords, with the Cruises, Smiths and Beckhams all hitting the dance floor.

On the menu were such British favorites as bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potatoes), as well as such classic American fare as burgers, fries and salad.

Once the dance floor finally cleared (that Will Smith character can really get the "booties" moving with his lively "raps"!), the assembled revelers somberly gathered to participate for the evening's centerpiece: the ritualistic sacrifice of two cater-waiters (one for each royal, naturally) by the winners of a special raffle, a dramatic act of fealty demonstrating that everyone in attendance is utterly dedicated to the service of their belevolent king and queen. The Beckhams are expected to proudly display the blood-stained jackets of the fallen servers above the mantle of their Bel Air mansion, alongside the mounted head of a Hilton heiress just as soon as one can be captured.