While yesterday afternoon's Lohan FuckageWatch focused exclusively on the legal ramifications of the regrettable incidents of early Morning morning, today we plunge the business end of our ice-cold Fuckometer into the haunches of her career to discover the degree of professional damage the actress may have suffered following her arrest. Today's NY Times liberates troubled-talent managing legend Bernie Brillstein from the "In Case Of Emergency Need Of Sound-Bite Concerning Self-Destructive Stars, Break Glass" container in which he patiently waits for a new crisis, and is repaid with this money quote about the Lohan situation:
"I hope they put her in jail for as long as they can," said Bernie Brillstein, whose company has represented John Belushi and Chris Farley. "Maybe she'll realize how serious it is. I believe she's uninsurable. And when you're uninsurable in this town, you're done."
Indeed, there is virtually no word in the industry invoked with such hushed reverence as "uninsurable," a label that can sentence a once-hot individual to the Phantom Zone of Unacceptable Liability for the duration of his or her best earning years. But fortunately for Lohan, her handlers seem to have foreseen such a potential crisis, and have adequately diversified her talent portfolio; should the actress find herself unable to find movie work while this ugly, overblown DUI mess fades from the memory of studio actuaries, she can always use the downtime to devote more attention to her promising, if recently neglected, music career.
- Lohan's Arrest Spells Trouble for 2 Movies [NY Times]