Your Friends Really Are Making You Fat

It's the most shocking, society-rending news we'll hear all week:

Obesity can spread from person to person, much like a virus, researchers are reporting today. When one person gained weight, their close friends tended to gain weight, too.
This is going to destroy the last niceties of Manhattan. A million fag hags will be thrown by the wayside. And boy is today cruel up in 4 Times Square. Question! Can frenemies make you fat? What about people who think they're your friend but you really hate? What about Facebook friends???

Study Says Obesity Can Be Contagious [NYT]