Your Friends Really Are Making You Fat

It's the most shocking, society-rending news we'll hear all week:

Obesity can spread from person to person, much like a virus, researchers are reporting today. When one person gained weight, their close friends tended to gain weight, too.
This is going to destroy the last niceties of Manhattan. A million fag hags will be thrown by the wayside. And boy is today cruel up in 4 Times Square. Question! Can frenemies make you fat? What about people who think they're your friend but you really hate? What about Facebook friends ???

Study Says Obesity Can Be Contagious [NYT]