Six reasons why Natalie Portman will be the world's best lifecaster

Natalie Portman is looking to broadcast her life, reports the New York Post. (Valleywag picked up the story in May.) Despite the forgettable pablum that currently defines lifecasting, I say she should go for it: The young actress is naturally the best person in Hollywood — or even the world — for the role.

  • She's young. At 26, Portman is young enough to be Internet savvy and lead an interesting social life — and if this turns out to be a horrible horrible idea, she'll still have plenty of time to salvage her career.
  • She's hot. Face it, that's why lifecaster Justine Ezarik logs more viewers than her similar male counterpart Justin Kan.
  • She's smart.The Israeli Harvard grad enrolled in graduate school in Jerusalem in 2005; she speaks Hebrew, English, French, Japanese, German, and a little Arabic. All this enrichment should make her life more varied than that of the average actress.
  • She's used to the attention. Many new lifecasters get shy from the sudden spotlight. (I gave up in under a week.) But to a star of Portman's caliber, what is a lifecasting but a DIY version of paparazzi?
  • She's got a built-in fanbase. Discerning geeks remember Portman as the one good thing about the Star Wars prequels. Her role in V for Vendetta won over more fans who'd read the original comic book. The nerd crowd, uncool as it may be, is an attractive demographic: young males with money to spend. And they will adore Natalie, for they have forsaken all others (except the chick who plays Boomer on BSG).
  • She's daring. She can be one bad motherfucker. Half the audience will be waiting for her to re-enact her SNL gangsta rap.

Stars who shouldn't lifecast

  • Jim Carrey, who would be disappointing in his old age
  • Robin Williams, who would be interesting for three minutes, before his routine goes on "repeat"
  • Any porn star, who would reveal the horrible unsexiness of porn production, killing millions of hard-ons.