You ever get the feeling you're being persecuted based solely on your personal creeds and beliefs? That a sinister cabal is against you because they don't like what you represent? Then you know how I feel today. Friends, I want to tell you something: The Jews are after me. That's right, using their powerful positions in the media, this master race is coming at me like an elite team of Israeli special forces. (Is it an actual simile if you compare the Jews to the Jews? Hmm!) Anyway, they have a problem with some of the larger truths I've been telling about their secretive ways and financial acumen.
Zionist propaganda sheet The Forward has gone so far as to call me an "offender" who refuses to be "cowed" in my pursuit of the facts about the Heeboisie and their insidious grip on the culture industry of this country. Worse than that, they imply that I'm unfunny! Well, I'll tell you, there is nothing funny about racism and censorship, and that's exactly what we have here: These Jews don't like me. They don't like my Jew-baiting ways. They want to take away my right to mock them on a media/gossip blog. Well, I'm not going to stand for it. I'm not even going to daven for it. I will continue to speak my mind on this vitally important issue until the truth is exposed. Or I meet my day's post count. Whichever comes first.
The line about my posts being "studiously irreverent, rich with Jewish-themed cracks and sheathed in a layer of irony so thick that any and all criticism comes off sounding daft, regardless of how maladroit the offending quip" is fantastically well done, putdown-wise. Subtle yet cutting. (Also, points for "sheathed," nice way to get a reference to My Cock in there.) Say what you will about these people, they're nothing if not clever.