Realizing that her new, streamlined body may have thrown a harsh and unwelcome spotlight on some of her regrettable surgical enhancements of the past (it became glaringly obvious after a valet accidentally cut himself on one of her jutting cheek implants), perfection addict Courtney Love took to her MySpace blog, announcing in her trademarked, crackified prose her plans to visit a leading Parisian plastic surgery unbotcher:
"My mouth still looks wonky, i think i gott go back to paris tot he dr, he fixes bad surgery and also cleft palates and serious [bleep] its nbot really vanity hes conservtive, wich we like," the grunge singer wrote on her Web site. "This really isnt znyones business but im hating that id di that to my mouth back in the day and he didnt really take out enough the first time around i just wnt the mouth god gave me back."
"It was perfectly cute. and i had nice big lips as Gwyneth says when i was "Out Sick" (genius phrase) of my dark years id id some damage and i have to restore myself to not looking ridiculous, idont care if im prettty or ugly or jo de lie wich is what i apretty much am (french for ugly pretty - theres no english word fo rit and im sure im nots pelling it right)."
The Hole frontwoman has since gone on to other matters: She brushed off the lack of straight men in her fan base on the blog last night, pithily writing, "i prefer my frmale sof all ages and my young homos, colopur my ass liza im thrilled"—oblivious to one young homo fan whose heart she broke into a million little rainbow pieces. Still, we can't help but respond to the honesty of the multiple voices in her head—here's to hoping the world's leading facial reconstructionist can work the same scalpel magic on Love as he does on children born missing significant portions of their face.