After all the heartache we've already suffered this summer from our vicarious incarceration with Paris Hilton, where our souls died a death from a thousand undignified paper cuts delivered over those draining 23 days, there's nothing left for Nicole Richie, who was just sentenced in connection with her Vicodin-fueled, wrong-way joyride on the 134.
The longtime Hilton sidekick, even in what should be her moment in the celebrity jurisprudence spotlight, continues to be overshadowed by her larger-than-life friend, earning a mere 96 hours of jail time for the DUI, six of which she's already credited for serving on the night of her arrest. Worst of all, we fear that her brief trip to prison will pass with so little fanfare that not even the most publicity-craving of luxury baked goods concerns will bother to send over a box of red velvet cupcakes, the ultimate commentary on the state of one's fading tabloid career.
- Nicole Richie sentenced to 90 hours in jail [CNN]
- Previously: An Important Update On The Contents Of Nicole Richie's Uterus [Defamer]