"I Just Joined Yesterday. How Can I Be Banned?"

Glaring Omissions reproduces tips received from readers in the last week that weren't covered on Gawker, either by accident (it happens!) or by design (it happens more often).

  • "Actually, I have to tell you, there really are no fat people at Wesleyan. I went there and I didn't know one fat person. I even talked about it with my friends a couple of times - why are there no fat people here?!?"
  • "Honestly, I just joined yesterday. How can I be banned?"
  • "79th btwn 1st./2nd. Two people who have been getting it on for the past hour in the small patio/park. not famous yet but they will be once i sell this video i just made. sleazy cool summer night table top public park sex. does that count?"
  • "So anyone can comment now? It used to be one had to prove their wittiness, but now the comments section is no better than Perez Hilton or WWTDD. WTF? Homos."
  • "MY NAME IS JENIFER BUTLER, I AND MY HUSBAND ARE ON A CHRISTAIN MISSION TO AFRICA AND I CAME ALONG WITH MY PUPPY. AFTER A WHILE I NOTICE THAT THE AFRICAN WEATHER IS NOT GOOD FOR THE PUPPY AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM THE WAY I ALWAYS DO BECAUSE OF MY JOB. I NEED A SOMEONE TO ADOPT HIM AND TAKE CARE OF HIM THE WAY I ALWAYS DO. IF YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM DO SEND A REPLY AND I WILL EMAIL YOU HIS PICTURES. I HOPE TO READ FROM YOU.
    REGARDS,
    JENIFER."
  • "Would you please consider sending readers to my site to participate in a poll about water conservation and toilet flushing. Thanks"
  • "The ugliest women in HR win hands down at the NYSE...forget about brown baggers, try industrial size black heavy duty garbage bags or dumpsters. Dale Bernstein, who testified that she played with the numbers for Dick Grasso's compensation runs NYSe, she is known as the Refridgerator with Arms and claws, he deputy Diane Moreno, is a creature so ugly, the cracks compact mirrors a mile away."
  • "Emily,

    My client, Chris Fabricant is an expert at criminal drug law and the author of the irreverent "Busted! Drug War Survival Skills" (HarperPerennial) He's got some funny/smart things to say about the Lindsey's "The coke in my pocket wasn't mine" defense. Though that defense has worked well for other celebs (Carmelo Anthony - drugs in his knapsack, Willie Nelson - drugs in the tour bus) being in her own jeans pocket sets a new standard for places others would stash their drugs. Chris can be reached at [redacted] or call me if you want to talk about it.

    Thanks and I hope you are well.

    Adam"

  • "If I want your approval, ..... Where are my comments?"
  • "post a video of Josh dancing, shirtless if possible. if that is not possible just post more pictures of him. And demand that he grows his hair. I think we all miss the curls."

    Earlier:Glaring Omissions