One Day In Paris: Broke-Ass Bitch Edition

First Us Weekly deemed Paris Hilton too annoying for its tender pages, and then today E! came to its senses and decided that bratty rich girls tainting the lives of innocents no longer sounded like good TV. Now, the jailbird heiress's grandfather is delivering a swift boot to her assets: Barron Hilton has allegedly yanked Paris's $60 million inheritance because, while he could tolerate a sex tape and the noxious aural assault that was her album, a prison stint was more than he could handle over his morning Ensure:

The 79-year-old considered her 23-day sentence last month the last straw.

"He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris," says Jerry Oppenheimer, who wrote a biography of the clan called House Of Hilton.

"He now doesn't want to leave unearned wealth to his family."

Still, don't let this tragic end to Paris's career as an heiress send you down a pair of coke-pants. Hollywood is full of crazy assholes, and one of them wants to pay her to perform... in an opera, according to Var:

Hilton has joined Alexa Vega and Paul Sorvino in the cast of "Repo! The Genetic Opera," a full-blown musical thriller co-financed by "Saw" makers Twisted Pictures and Lionsgate.

Hilton will sing in a futuristic thriller framed around musical numbers that range from opera to rock. The setting is 2056, when a plague nearly destroys the human race and survival is dependent upon being able to finance a pricey organ transplant. [...]

Hilton plays a daughter of the organ transplant magnate (Sorvino) who is the villain of the piece.

"This movie has become my life," said Bousman. "I have auditioned at least 30 actresses for this role — Paris came in and owned it. She is this role."

No word yet on what they're putting in the water over at Lionsgate, nor whether a complimentary shot of Cuervo and a set of ear plugs will come with each ticket purchased. Still, it's apt casting: If we had to pick anyone in Hollywood to survive an apocalyptic plague along with all the cockroaches, we'd pick Paris. After all, by now that girl's probably immune to just about anything a tainted organ can give her.