While we at Defamer realize that any of our female readers with acting aspirations hardly need our help in procuring the services of "producers" willing to exchange sexual favors for empty promises of career assistance, we nonetheless feel it's our duty to occasionally serve as middleman between parties seeking this classic, mutually beneficial show business arrangement. Lounging in a VIP booth in Craiglist's virtual Hollywood nightclub is this anonymous starmaker, who's looking to send a drink over to the table of any struggling actress willing to blow him in a bathroom stall if he passes her headshot on to his favorite agency:
I'M REAL! FILM PRODUCER FOR NSA W/ASPIRING ACTRESS/MODEL NEEDING HELP - m4w - 35 Real Posting! Yes, I am a real motion picture producer with numerous credits of films you've most likely seen. I'm mid 30's, slim and fit, sexy as hell and easy on the eyes! I don't have much time for dating and am looking for a mutually beneficial situation/NSA with an aspiring actress/model who may need to jump start their career.
This is very real and over the last several months I've place 2 actresses and one model with very prestigious agencies and all are now actively auditioning numerous times a week. I know there are numerous actresses/models out there that are doing whatever it takes to make the rent. You just can't seem to land any roles or agents or connect with the right people. For the adventurous and spontaneous type, this could be for you. I will give all my info to the proper candidate once I know you're serious. Pic for Pic! First come first serve!
The producer's three assertions that he and his tantalizing offer are genuine are all the confirmation that we need, as any fraud looking to take advantage of a trusting lady who just can't connect with the right people surely would've offered no more than two "I'm real! Pinky swear! Just ask all the future superstars with top-shelf representation I've nailed!" references. Remember, it's a first come/first served offer, so don't fritter away the precious moments you could be using to launch your career with unnecessary caution.