Michael Grynbaum—Harvard boy, former New York Observer intern, former New York Sun intern!—spent the last five weeks tailing Mayor Bloomberg. And guess what? Everyone's favorite subway-taking, straphanger advocating, public-transportation loving mayor is a total fraud. Yes! Is crazy! Two big-ass S.U.V.s wait outside his house every day, and sometimes then they drive him 22 blocks to an express stop, passing two locals. Also? He only takes the subway twice a week at this point. The N.Y.P.D. pays for the cars and drivers, and no one's quite clear on why he needs two. Unless his giant head is detachable from his little short body?