Look Upon Brett Ratner's Works, Ye Mighty, And Despair

At Wednesday night's Chinese Theatre premiere of Rush Hour 3, the latest installment of his tripartite cinematic exposé on the intolerance of native-born comedians towards recent immigrants who've had trouble learning to speak unaccented English, director Brett Ratner took a moment to put four of the greatest achievements of humankind into their proper perspective. Declareth Ratner, according to the LAT:

"It took 20 years to build a pyramid, 14 years to build Mt. Rushmore, 13 years to lose my virginity and six years to get Chris Tucker to make 'Rush Hour 3,' " said Brett Ratner at the premiere of this summer's latest threequel.

As impressed as we are to discover that Ratner was getting crazy laid at such a tender age, we're even more awed by the fact took it took him a mere six years to convince old friend Tucker to accept a paltry $20 million (plus gross points) to come out of semi-retirement. But once Ratner had set that final, load-bearing talent-stone in place, he knew he had the proper foundation to erect a fitting monument to his legacy that will far outlast those impermanent, already-crumbling tributes to long-forgotten pharaohs and presidents.