Would-be mogul and Vanity Fair media columnist Michael Wolff is finally going to get on this internet thing, but right-side up this time! Could it be? He thought blogs would be long gone by now. And his talks with "gay megagorilla" Barry Diller and Barry's guy Michael Jackson fell through. But he's forging ahead! Welcome to the beta of his website... Newser! It's Matt Drudge without the fun and the brilliant curation! It's Sploid without the monkeys and paranoia! It's TMZ but completely devoid of celebrities and urgency and puns. It's Yahoo! News without the exclamation point. It's the dullest thing I've seen all day, and I've been staring into a jar of pennies for the last half hour.

The Newsier Newser [Paid Content]