Donald Trump Can't Stop Talking About How Badly He Doesn't Want Rosie O'Donnell On 'The Apprentice'

Never one to squander an opportunity to jab his firing-pinky into longtime nemesis Rosie O'Donnell's neck wattle while evaluating her physical appearance, musing about a punitive sexual conquest of her life-partner, or delivering a stream of inventive, pig-related quips, Donald Trump delivered the insult value-add we've come expect from the savvy businessman in denying that he'd ever invited her on the upcoming celebrity edition of The Apprentice. He did, however, allow that firing her would be fun:

"No, I never offered Rosie a chance to be on 'Celebrity Apprentice, '" Trump told Access Hollywood in an exclusive interview.
"It's a good idea," he continued, "because I would fire her fat a**. She would definitely not last more than one show . . . I would love to fire Rose, but I don't want her on the show."

Mulling the idea over for a moment, the redness in Trump's flushed face began to fade, and he absently twirled a lock of his magnificent head of hair as he continued, "You know what, though? Firing her...mmm...that could work. Like, really work. It's crazy to say it, right? But, but...I could bend her over the boardroom's table, grab the new dismissal paddle we'll be using this season, and really go to Trumptown on that ample bottom of hers. Ammm-ple. Just lingers on the tongue, ample. Weird. You think she'd like that? She probably would. She's sick. A sick little piggy. And then right when she thinks I'm going to fire her, you know what? I stop! I bring her back for another show. Take that, Rosie. Fatfatfat. The paddling won't be so fun the second time, I promise you that. Or the third."