Remember Eric Schaeffer, the eating-disordered emosogynist who can't believe he's still single? You know, the guy we used to think was the most immature scary-deluded narcissist we'd ever encountered before we met Robert Olen Butler? Well, we had him on ignore for a while, which means we missed this SuicideGirls interview a few weeks ago. "I'm on the hunt bad," he tells Erin Broadley, who characterizes his memoir, which is partly about getting blow jobs from hookers, as "a personal and illuminating work that never shies from being up front and honest about looking for romance in a decidedly less and less romantic world." Okay! Anyway, that's not all our Eric has to say for himself.

ES: I'm doing a national book tour that I'm actually going to film and make a documentary out of. Basically like, "Eric Schaeffer: I Can't Believe I'm Still Single from Portland to Portland." I have a friend that's going to get married in Portland, Maine at the end of the month so this documentary is going to be me having dates in almost every city while I'm doing this tour about a book that is about me still being single. EB: Like a self-referential experiment? ES: Exactly. It's about the whole nature of singledom, how people get hooked up, chemistry, whether they're happy and why they're not. I'll end up in Portland, Maine at this wedding where there will be a girl that I've always had a crush on. So that'll be the bookend.

We can unequivocally say that we would rather watch a reality show called "Who Wants To Poke Their Eye Out With A Stick For $10K!" Much rather. So, um, Eric! Any thoughts on why, after a year of actively and abjectly and publicly hinging your entire image on wanting to get married, you're still completely single and not even dating anyone on a regular?

Somehow when you say what everyone else is thinking, people recoil. I wish more people would come out of the woodwork with friends to hook me up with. That's what I don't understand. I get a certain amount of letters from girls saying, "Hey I think you're cool. I definitely want to go out with you." But I thought there'd be more after this book. Maybe people are shy.

Or maybe not every woman is completely insane.

I Can't Believe I'm Still Single: An Interview With Eric Schaeffer [SG]