The emaciated husk of a formerly zaftig Courtney Love still steadfastly insists her rapid weight loss was achieved through entirely safe and natural means, with a self-devised nutritional system so effective, we wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see a chain of Courtney Love Weight Loss Centers popping up around the country. But for those concerned that even the slightest blast of guitar feedback might now turn the rocker into a human tumbleweed, Love reassures her blog readers in her trademarked pidgin prose that she's already packing the pounds back on through that most popular of snack-sized Hollywood peace offerings, the cupcake:
"ive put on 10 pounds (thank you Sprinkles cupcakes wic h i must admit are overrated)" and "i never ever sia di was some pop tart singing griunning dancing 'enjtertainer' did i?"
"i must point out the hypocrisy of this crazy hysteria about my weight- ... Noones going to mistake me for Eva Longoria, andmy god I am truly hAppy to be who an what i am with my life an dmy expirience i can do so many things help so many people and make such a beautiful clothing line too! and maybe finish this dammed sript one day."
It's heartening to know the same gourmet iced confections that brought some solace to house arrest inmate #9818783 in her darkest hour are also helping to put some meat back onto Love's brittle bones, thereby giving her the stamina to help people, make beautiful clothes, and finish her "dammed sript"—a semi-autobiographical romantic drama called Hart Brakr that's never gotten further than, "INT. A BH Estate. Chelsea Hart, astunning rock icon who doesn't hav Body Dysmorphic Disorder, skims Billboard and learns her albmu is #1 for a record-breaking 78th week!"