This Week In Gawker Redundancies

See, the thing is, we don't really like getting rid of our commenters. Or, you know, we do, but we get distracted really easily. Ooh, look at that adorable puppy outside. OMG so cute! What? Oh, yeah. As we were saying. Sometimes we forget that it's time to clean out a little bit of the dead wood 'round these parts. And then sometimes we remember. Today is one of the days when we remember. Security, please escort the following folks out:

Made Redundant: Thomas Pynchon
Reason for dismissal: Against The Day blew.

Made Redundant: Gothamcityincider
Reason for dismissal: 1. Spamming with his user name.
2. Being a fucking douche.
3. Using the forbidden word "YAWN."
Bring something to the party or go the fuck home.

Made Redundant: PikachuMcHeidegger
Reason for dismissal: Talk about missing the point.

Made Redundant: Diverdown
Reason for dismissal: Racist, ESL-like punctuation.

Made Redundant: Malcolm816
Reason for dismissal: Hey Kettle, it's me, Pot. You're fired.

Redundancies are just that: An HR-approved way to get rid of you while deflecting all blame and making you feel doubly victimized. It's not you—it's just that we don't need you any more. Y'all may check the Gawker Comments FAQ. It is also true that banned commenters may return through our invitation. The best way to receive such is to send us cookies (peanut butter, please, and not personalized) or charming and juicy gossip-filled emails.