As the great Impressionist Paul Gauguin said, "Life being what it is, one seeks revenge." It is in that spirit that Alex Blagg seeks revenge against the impressions of humorously clad hipsters enjoying themselves at Last Night's Party and Misshapes. Guess what, kids? It's time for Blue States Lose!
10.Misshapes. July 28th, 2007 photo #048: I want to drag this girl outside, blast her with a fire hose, then drag her sopping wet back to her parents' house in Long Island and tell them to get their shit together.
9.Last Night's Party. Lollapop photo #9566: Sorry Perry Ferrell, but your stupid festival Lollapa-loses too.
8. Misshapes. July 28th, 2007 photo #131: This actually challenges the previously-accepted notions of human fucking fabulousness that can be fit into a single frame of film.
7. Last Night's Party. Debonaire Extras photo #9824: Ladies, in case you didn't get the message the first four million times he was photographed doing this, Steve Aoki would like love to lick your spicy tuna rolls with his fu manchustache.
6. Misshapes. July 28th, 2007 photo #185: Well well well, what do we have here? The ill-fitting t-shirt, the ridiculous accessories, the terribly dye-job, the retarded ironic glasses: it's as if this person simply fell from the skies, perfect in every way.
5. Misshapes. July 28th, 2007 photo #188: I usually hate it when the "hipster terrorist scarf" thing still rears its stupid head, but there's something about this that's just...adorable.
4. Misshapes. July 28th, 2007 photo #100: This picture perfectly delineates everything that is wrong with Misshapes, and the essential futility of my continuing to ridicule them. I mean, Kid's Meal is wearing a blue monster mask, Coldstare is trying to lick him through it, and Little Scotty Mouthbreather is cheering them on in the background. What the fuck else do we really even need to say?
2. Last Night's Party. Lollapop photo #9924: There's so much to not understand about this horrorshow, but for whatever reason, the one thing that deeply disturbs me is the miniature Grinch doll.
1. Misshapes. July 28th, 2007 photo #187: I really don't even know what to say here. That... uh... must've taken practice?
Previously: Brain Terrorism