Suze Yalof Schwartz Can Suze Our Yalof

As you regular readers know, we always welcome your tips! It's a bright spot in our day hearing from you. And if you'd like to direct our attention to something that you yourself have accomplished, well, that's fine! It's okay to toot your own horn once in a while! But you know what's not okay? Being a little bitch like Glamour beauty blogger Suze Yalof Schwartz, who just wanted to make sure we were aware of her hot not-scoop about Ashton Kutcher surprising a random New Yorker by showing up to refurbish his closet, and then got pissy when we didn't run the item.

At 9:42 this morning, Suze sent us an email with no subject line (bad manners, but it happens) with the link to the blog post she'd done today about how some gay (we assume!) dude who works for Glamour sometimes had called her to kvell about how Ashton Kutcher, while in the midst of researching a role, had showed up to redesign his closet. We clicked and were like "Zzzz." Because? Gossip auntie Ben Widdicombe had written about Ashton's "closeted" (oho!) ways all of yesterday ago. (Also: What, Ashton is like, a Method actor now? But with closet carpentry?)

So we ignored Suze's email, sort of like how she ignored any basic forms of email etiquette in writing it. Then an hour later, this from Suze: "Just wanted to let you know that Jossip picked up the story about Ashton."

Oh girl. Did you somehow not know that Choire and Doree and I all have our periods this week? Seriously, no you di int!

Because Choire's the boss, and right now the most levelheaded (he's on day three), he was elected to write back. He wrote: "Didn't page six or R&M pick it up yesterday? Best, C."

A smarter lady than S.Y.S. would have dropped the email chain right there, but Suze isn't smarter than herself, it turns out. "Yes but they didn't have pictures and the story was from the Closet company. By the way : Please thank everyone from me for all the amazing press. It has been so fantastic for Glamour's web traffic. Suze"

Oh no.

Maybe everyone is on their period this week.