Kim Kardashian's Big Fat Armenian Butt

Urinatee Kim Kardashian wants you to know that not only is her ass real, it's genetic:

"Everyone now says I have a fake butt or butt implant," the sizzling pseudo-celeb, who made an infamous sex tape with rapper Ray J, tells King magazine. "I'm Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That's how I was born. I can't help it. I'm not gonna fight it. I definitely need to work out more and tone up, but I'm proud of my body."

Good lord. No wonder the Turks tried to genocide these people out of existence. If we lived in a world full of enormous-titted women roaming the streets with impunity, how would we ever get through a work day with half a thought in our already tiny, petty little brain? There'd be too many gigantic asses to think about.

Family Way [NYP]