Today Jeffrey Chodorow, the priapic owner of many a poorly reviewed restaurant, placed another ad in the New York Times Dining section. (He had previously taken out a full pager impugning critic Frank Bruni's motives in panning Kobe Club.) Today's ad was in response to Bruni's one-star review of Wild Salmon. It was written on "letterhead" in a generic "handwriting" font.
Dear Frank, The penguin has returned to the South Pole where it belongs. I'm contributing the money I would have spent on a larger ad to the fight against global warming. Really glad you loved the wild salmon at Wild Salmon. It is like no other salmon I've ever tasted. Regards, Jeff. P.s. Loved "your" cameo in Ratatouille."
We contacted Chodorow's people to learn to what charity exactly he would be contributing money and how much.
On the first front, after some scrambling, they came back with an organization called Conservation International which, we guess, combats global warming. What are the chances some PR flak thought, "Doh, they're actually calling us out. Quick, somebody Google 'conservation'!"
But in response to how much dough Chodorow is throwing away, we got "We are not disclosing the amount at this time." This either means somewhere around $20K (the approximate difference between a full pager and a 2 column ad), or maybe nothing. A better formulation would have been "I'm contributing the money I'm going to lose at my business due to my continuing obsessive craziness to the fight against global warming." That way the environmentalists would be trillions of dollars richer!