Lauren Conrad Is The People's Princess

The date: August 13th, 2:45pm
The place: West 45th at 6th
Sighted: Just saw Lauren "LC" Conrad from The Hills in a cab. She must be in town for the premiere tonight. Love her. Paparazzi snapping away at her and an assistant.

Since reality television overtook religion as the opiate of the masses, two main truths have come to light. The first, and most important; those egg-on-the-frying-pan commercials were misleading. Drugs fuck up more than your brain. They also mess with your motor skills and your face.

The second; we, as an audience, want our reality stars to be stereotypes. We only like to watch the real-life adventures of people with personalities that can be described in three words or less. This genius technique, pioneered by the creators of The Real World, has been employed in every reality series produced in the last 15 years. And yet, Lauren Conrad fascinates us even though, let's face it — she's boring. Yes, she seems like a nice enough girl, maybe a tad judgmental, (but honestly, is that even a flaw anymore?) and sure, she's easy on the eyes, but you would be hard pressed to find someone, not just on television but also in your life, with less of a personality. Even her sex tape was dismissed as disappointing. So why are we all hooked on her life like the ancillary characters of a late-90's McConaughey vehicle?

Her uncanny ability to surround herself with your more-typical reality character fare doesn't hurt. In fact, it's probable the only reason she got her own show in the first place was because she hooked up with Jason Wahler during Season 2 of Laguna Beach. And the fact that her roommate started dating Spencer Pratt, a white, LA-based Omarosa, certainly didn't hurt The Hills' popularity. Maybe Lauren is like Vince on Entourage; only there to look pretty and move the plot forward from week to week. Otherwise? Empty.

There is, however, another possible reason for all the Lauren-love. Maybe it lies in the haunting similarities between LC and another blond icon we've been searching desperately to replace. Another woman who spoke softly, adored black eye-liner and garnered sympathy as the unloved angle of a famous love-triangle? That's right. Maybe Lauren Conrad is our generation's Princess Diana. Disappointed? You should be. But as they say, every generation gets the Princess Di they deserve. And no, she hasn't done any of that volunteer, Angelina Jolie, good-person shit that Di did—yet. But hey, the rest is still unwritten.