Your Jay McInerney Questions Asked and Answered!

We just got back from that brunch with Jay McInerney. Who else—plied by the promise of free brunch, Bloody Marys and swag—took time out of their busy busy day? Spotted at the bar, grasping hefty noon Bloody Marys were Hunter Hill of Paper mag, Brett Thorne of the Sun, Jessica Green (wife of Bill Buford), Black Book EIC Steve Garbarino avec sa femme, Nicole Miller and film exec Sarah Colleton. And then there was Jay McInerney. This is the first time we've met Jay face a face and he, IRL, doesn't disappoint. He looks almost exactly like a ventriloquist dummy: same grin, those blue eyes at once profound and shallow, the curly hair that looks like a Pixar simulation. When he laughs he actually says the word, "Heh." When we approached him he was inviting Nicole Miller up to his Water Mill house for a party he and Anne were having Friday. Candace Bushnell and her husband Charles were staying the weekend and Brooke Shields was expected. "Jay," we said, "we have some reader-submitted questions for you." His blue eyes grew murky and the grin deepened into a grimace. "Our first question comes from TheBigDoggy who asks, 'What's the best burgundy to serve with writer's block?'" McInerney paused before answering.

"Hmm," he pondered, his face scrunching up like a sponge. "Burgundy is such a crap shoot. Two out of three bottles are total crap. Better to go with a Bordeaux. Otherwise you'll commit suicide." Oh well, he would know! Also, was this really happening?

We decided to test the waters. "Here's a question from Mediahoho who asks, 'When are you going to write the sequel to Less Than Zero?'" A pause. Were we going to get punched, slapped, noogied? "Heh. heh," said McInerney. "I'm writing the sequel to Lunar Park." Heh. heh.

Q: Can I have my Smiths CDs back, please?
A: No

Q: how does he stay so thin while writing a column for Gourmet?
A: It's House and Garden and I don't. I just have a good tailor. (Unspoken subtext: cocaine!)

Q: What's the best antidote when the Bolivians won't stop marching in your head?
A: Xanax or Valium.

Q: What was Michael J. Fox really like?
A: Short. Also, he's a wildman. He's as wild as I was. In fact, he was well suited for the role.

Q: How many roads must a man walk down?
A: For me, 4 or 5 if you're talking about marriage. Whenever I start thinking about how horrible a person I am I just think that all my ex-wives and girlfriends don't hate me. That makes me feel better. Heh. Heh. Heheheheh.