Another Monday morning, another coronation of a new box office king. Raise a hand to salute your new multiplex master as you review the weekend numbers:
1. Superbad—$31.2 million
With Knocked Up debuting to about $30 million back in June and Superbad edging past that number even in this mid-August box office wasteland, there can be no disputing that Seth Rogen is the Biggest Comedy Star in the World. (And we recognize this title without irony; this isn't Shia LeBeouf we're talking about.) Having so easily dominated the R-rated comedy space in this breakout summer season, we think we're beginning to understand The Green Hornet thing: once you've done for [mild spoiler alert?] menstrual blood and penis cartoons what collaborator Judd Apatow did for crowning babies, it's not too early to look for new worlds to conquer.
2. Rush Hour 3—$21.831 million
Even though Brett Ratner may have delivered a new Rush Hour sequel that will likely finish far behind the previous installment at the box office, there is a bright side to the situation: without a fourth Rush in the works, we may be looking at a Chris Tucker hiatus that exceeds even the six-year vacation he took between the second and third chapters.
3. The Bourne Ultimatum—$18.986 million
Thanks to the giant "Bourne Comes Home" banner Universal considerately draped on Damon's NYC apartment building, the actor can return each day to a throng of well-meaning, if misguided, fans, each of whom beg the action star to beat them unconscious with whatever seemingly harmless implement (a diaper bag, a recently purchased hot dog from a sidewalk vendor, etc) they have handy.
4. The Simpson Movie—$6.675 million
Unable to handle the sudden crush of attention brought on by the great success of The Simpsons Movie, Ralph Wiggum has been seen hanging out behind the Kwik E Mart, huffing scented magic markers and offering to show his squiggle to anyone who buys him a Squishee.
5. The Invasion—$6 million
The Tomatometer score finally climbed out of the teens, but the disappointing™ result was inevitable: America was never going to turn out to see body-snatching monsters attempt to vomit on Nicole Kidman.