What Male Oscar Winner Is Always Drunk?

Post feminist Andrea Peyser strikes a blow for the sisterhood today, demanding equal effort from celebrity men to join the unholy trinity of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears in the Superstar Retard Public Spectacle Iditarod. The bad boys have settled down—Sean Penn, for instance.

Sean boy may have won an Oscar, but he really hit my zenith the day he was arrested for tying up Madonna. But those days are, sadly, in the rear view. Now, Sean is too busy practicing foreign policy with enemies of the state to tie up wifey Robin Wright, or anyone else. Can he be popped for treason? Please?
It's a good question, but it sort of blows a hole in our guess for today's Page Six blind item about the constantly drunk Oscar-winner.
WHICH Oscar-winning actor has his friends worried? His career's gone downhill since getting the gold statue and his drinking has increased tenfold. Now, he doesn't even try to hide his public drunkenness or his affairs.
You're ruining all our fantasies, Andrea! Now, won't you all pease help us figure out this all-important question with your own wild speculations and guesses.

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N.B. As we said: Sean Penn, pictured, is just wild speculation!

Just Asking [NYP]