The revelation this week that Kevin Rudd, the man who will unseat Australian Prime Minister John Howard later this year unless Howard can find a new group of immigrants to demonize, once spent a boozy evening at Scores with New York Post editor Col Allan has caused much mirth in the convict-intensive funhouse that is the land down under. But a night out with Allan is no joke: Former Postie Megan Lehmann pops up in Newsweek to share a few tales of Col's harrowing inebriated escapades.

Some highlights:

  • Col likes a "gutsy shiraz" but he'll also happily quaff cocktails, bourbon, and, quite possibly, Barbicide.
  • While every other Postie suffered through morning-after hangovers, Allan would be at full strength, "rallying the troops to cover a triple homicide in the Bronx and dismissing a feeble page-one pitch as 'bullshit'."
  • Col Allan may have fucked Stevie Nicks.
  • "When the maitre d' at the 21 Club mistook him for a colonel after seeing his signature, Col did not disabuse him of the notion. And he was in the thick of it when his former deputy Colin Myler (now editing London's News of the World) threw a punch at Australian war correspondent Paul McGeough after a night on the tiles at Manhattan's members-only club Soho House."
  • Col Allan may have fucked Stevie Nicks.
  • And there you have it. Col Allan is a boisterous drunk who's happy to get into a fight and still shows up in the morning fresh as a daisy no matter how much he's imbibed the night before. We know he's an evil man whose ultimate goal is to advance his proprietor's rightwing agenda while dumbing down Post readers' already tenuous grip through articles like "Sex doll: Quit toyin' with me," but we have to admit it: Col Allan is kind of our personal hero right now. Except for the possible Stevie Nicks fucking. That we just cannot abide.
  • On the town with Col Allan [Newsweek]