Balk BTW: Okay, sorry about this, I don't want to bring you down or anything, but I have to ask. Whaddya think about that study that shows that the elderly are still getting it on? This one:
Balk BTW: "The study of 3005 adults aged 57 to 85 found most had an active sex life with a partner or spouse. More than half of sexually active older adults had sex two to three times a month—the same frequency reported among younger adults in a 1992 national survey."
Cock BTW: Are you kidding? Why would that bring me down?
Cock BTW: I find it, dare I say, a beacon of hope?
Balk BTW: Really? You're not at all disgusted by the idea of wrinkly old bodies, with their flabby skin and rank odors, mixing together in hip-shattering moments of passion that mingle the smell of sex with the stench of death?
Cock BTW: You're an idiot.
Cock BTW: Listen, jackass, I know you're trying to kill yourself with booze and cigarettes, but guess what? I've done the research: All Balk men live into their nineties. So you know what? We're stuck with each other for another sixty years, at least. And here's the deal: I am still going to be wanting some.
Cock BTW: I don't want to get too flowery or poetic or whatever, but here's the thing: When you stick me into someone, it's not just about something as base as sex. Which is not to say that sex is a bad thing. But anyway: It is an affirmation of life. Being stuck into someone, thrusting back and forth in a dance that both brings you as close to another person and makes you, for however long you keep together, feel the very essence of what it is to be human, is the ultimate defense AGAINST death. Don't you think that, as we grow older, we're going to want that more? Hasn't it occurred to you that the closer we come to the grave the more important it's going to be to us to stare death in the face and say, Come when you must, but until that day I am celebrating my life in the best way I know how: By being stuck into someone. I live. I breathe. I am human.
Balk BTW: Wow.
Balk BTW: I never thought of it that way.
Balk BTW: That's amazing.
Cock BTW: Good. Anyway, when we get up there make sure we're still doing it with the younger set. Because I can't get it up for those Golden Girls bitches.
Elderly assert sex still a fact of life [The Age]