When we tried to order "The Blue Book" out at BookHampton, we were told that because of a New York Times article, the world's schmanciest phone book was all sold out. Allegedly. "Write down your name," the man said. "We'll call you." As I wrote my name down on a note card, I noticed the clerk's eyes narrow as each of my Jewy names spilled onto the neat white paper. "Uh-huh," he said," we'll call you." But they did! Affirmative action! The book showed up at our office in a plain white envelope. At $70 it is the most expensive phone book maybe ever. It's a phonebook full of people to whom really you'd have nothing to say. It is beautifully cloth-bound with elegant gold cursive on the front. It smells like fresh paper bills.

In the front, there's a handy editor's note and a few legends. They include a useful guide to college abbreviations.

Harvard is denoted with a lone H; Yale a Y. Lesser known schools like Hamilton are abbreviated to Ham. But the more important page is the list of clubs.
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The only letter that really really matters here is the M, which stands for the Maidstone Club. Robert and Alexandra Gardiner Creel Goulet (who own, with Robert Gardiner, Gardiner's Island) are members. Jay McInerney and Anne Hearst aren't. He's a member of the less illustrious Southampton Bathing Corporation.

The most useful service the book provides is endless hours of mocking the names the rich choose to bestow upon their scions—Preston Ford, Megan Storrs, Devon Vance, Sloane Elizabeth, Preston Ford and Brooke Sutton (this all from one well-known Bridgehampton family)—and their houses—Bittersweet, El Paraiso, Maya, Nid de Papillon.

And take the Mortimers, the clan from whose overactive loins Tinsley spilled. Or really, whose loins she married into. Trying to untangle the complex Mortimer web is difficult because they keep on naming their kids the same names. Seriously people, there are more names than Grafton and Richard and Peter! It does, however, explain how ridiculous nicknames like Topper and Tipper pop up.

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