Ah, yes. It's beginning to feel—and smell—a lot like late August. Before slipping on those fancy trick sunglasses upon which you've glued magazine cutouts of two open eyes and checking out for the morning, have some box office numbers, freshly scooped out of the commissary salad bar:
1. Superbad - $18 million
With a mildly disappointing&trade second week take, the country's schoolgirl crush on Superbad may be showing signs of waning—possibly because it had exhausted its core audience of phallic doodle enthusiasts in its opening weekend. Still, enough moviegoers were taken with Superbad's colorsafe-beer-swilling charms to secure its first place status. America, it turns out, was more than willing to accept the movie's drunken offer to take us upstairs and put its mouth on our collective penis.
2. The Bourne Ultimatum - $12.4 million
With a 24-day total of just north of $185 million, Matt Damon continues to ably prove why he's known as Hollywood's Biggest Bargain. We therefore beseech his team of acupuncturists to find the right damn spot in or around his ear to plunge those spasm-alleviating needles. Hollywood simply cannot afford to have its most likable and profitable star out with a backache in these crucial weeks before a looming talent strike.
3. Rush Hour 3 - $12.2 million
It's a testament to the instincts of Hollywood's billion dollar director Brett Ratner that audiences are still lapping up the you-simply-can't-fake-it chemistry between Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. They may still express a humorous inability to understand the words coming out of each other's mouths, but their bored faces far more easily communicate the sentiment, "Third homes in Belize don't exactly buy themselves, now, do they?"
4. Mr. Bean's Holiday - $10 million
Nothing quite says "last week of August" like a Mr. Bean movie, which pulled in a surprisingly healthy number from the Blackadder set. They may have turned up to see the latest adventures of their bumbling, bulging-eyed hero, but stormed out in disgust when they realized it involved Bean stumbling into a European death-sport hostel, where he was swiftly ball-gagged and rendered into human prey for a graphic, 90-minute torture pornfest.
5. WAR - $10 million
The clues to Lionsgate's underperforming martial arts feature may lie in WAR's generic name. Perhaps The Thighmaster was on to something with his alternative suggestions—at least with Staring Contest or Cupcakes, you know what you're getting.
6. The Nanny Diaries - $7.8 million
Sorry, Scarlett. No one cares about your poopie-diaper problems.